Dr. Handelman and I share a unique doctor-patient relationship.

Dr. Handelman and I share a unique doctor-patient relationship. We are both primary care internists. He has known and accepted from the beginning that he is my second opinion, my own being the first, of course.

It takes a special physician to carry that off. Having sat in his chair, I know how hard it is to cede control to your patient, when you know better what is the right course of action.

Mark and I (yes, we are on a first name basis, also not easy for him, I'm sure) have debated the merits of statins, osteoporosis medications and the like, quoting studies and compromising on courses of action.

Last year, during my annual physical, because of my history of high cholesterol, he suggested that I have a stress test. My EKGs have always been normal, and I had no symptoms, so I declined. He did not object.

Three months ago I purchased a treadmill in attempt to lose some weight. Still asymptomatic and hiking on Mt. Charleston with my daughter, out of an abundance of caution, I asked Mark for a stress test. He suggested a CT angiogram, telling me it would give us more information. The morning following the CT, I received a phone call from the radiologist reading it, informing me that I had a 90 block of my proximal left anterior descending artery and needed intervention now. The cardiologist he recommended, well trained and personable, performed the procedure five days after the radiologist's call. It went without incident, and I went home the proud owner of a new stent and an excellent prognosis.

When I saw Mark the following week, he smiled and asked me if I would like to stay on the statins prescribed by the cardiologist. He left it up to me.

That is the point of this whole essay. He respects the fact that I have a right to make my own decisions. He respects me. And I respect him for it. I also respect his clinical judgment and take that into account when we decide my course of action.

I was taught years ago that a physician should be a care giver and not a care taker. Mark shares that philosophy. Not all doctors do.